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 How Things Shouldn't Go

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Should I continue on the slightly vulgar, already written path or change to a more PG-13 friendly path?
Slightly Vulgar
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AliceInWonderland
Noticing a Living Impaired w/a short skirt
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Posts : 42
Join date : 2010-07-01
Age : 25
Location : everywhere

PostSubject: How Things Shouldn't Go   Wed Sep 08, 2010 6:40 pm

This is a new story I just started specially for all of you guys! I really hope you enjoy it! I know I had lots of fun (and sadness) writing this! I'll just introduce the 3 main characters for right now and I will start posting the story as soon as possible.


Character: Alice
Age: 17


Character: Zack
Age: 18
*Alice's adoring boyfriend


Character: Adam
Age: 23


I will start posting ASAP but my computer is a gay-ass retard so I am sorry if it takes a little while!


Last edited by AliceInWonderland on Wed Nov 10, 2010 3:36 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : to add a poll, to fix poll)
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AliceInWonderland
Noticing a Living Impaired w/a short skirt
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Age : 25
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PostSubject: Re: How Things Shouldn't Go   Mon Sep 13, 2010 1:04 pm

"Hello"
"Hi, um do i know you?"
"No, but you should. I'm Adam."
"Well Adam, it's very weird to meet you. Hasn't anyone ever told you that it's a liitle weird to walk up to and introduce yourself to someone in Hot Topic?"
"Well, ya i guess."
"You know, first you should stalk them in the food court and then in a sports store where you could see that they just got a present for their BOYFRIEND'S birthday."
"Oh, you have a boyfriend? That's nice, but I don't care. Shut up, don't scream, don't even make a sound or I WILL kill you."



So what do you think so far? Should I continue?
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li_the_deadly
Listening to Margie Gab


Posts : 59
Join date : 2010-10-20

PostSubject: Re: How Things Shouldn't Go   Mon Oct 25, 2010 3:45 pm

I think it's interesting that you decided to stick with dialogue only. It's more of a surprise when something like the last part (cliffhanger!) happens, because you don't have any narration to guess from. I liked it. Definitely continue if you want to.
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AliceInWonderland
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Age : 25
Location : everywhere

PostSubject: Re: How Things Shouldn't Go   Tue Nov 02, 2010 4:31 pm

Thanks! Very Happy I havent been online in quite awhile because of school things but i will definately continue!

Note:Beware however the end of November/ beginning of December WILL be slow b/c of drama productions, choir concerts, and midterms! but i will try my best to keep up with this!
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x.ZombieOli.x
Standing in front of flying tomatoes
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Join date : 2009-07-30
Location : Vlad Island

PostSubject: Re: How Things Shouldn't Go   Thu Nov 04, 2010 12:52 am

woah nice.... i'm waiting to see what will happen next.
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AliceInWonderland
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PostSubject: Re: How Things Shouldn't Go   Thu Nov 04, 2010 10:20 am

haha thanks oli! im going to get this up as soon as possible i was working on it during history class yesterday!
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AliceInWonderland
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Age : 25
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PostSubject: Re: How Things Shouldn't Go   Sat Nov 06, 2010 8:41 am

*Internally* Oh my God. I'm being kidnapped! Holy F#$%! Ok, remember what Zack taught you. Jam the heel of your hand up to break his nose, hit him in the solar plexis, ... WHAT ELSE!?
Ugh i don't know and he will overpower me if I try anything.
He is taking me to the parking garage. We are heading towards a red jeep.
OH MY GOD! A SECURITY OFFICER! Please, oh please let him notice how tight Adam is holding onto my arm.
Ugh. All of a sudden Adam puts his arm around me as if I'm his girlfriend. He has thought this whole thing through.
My only chance at living is to do whatever he wants.



*This one was short and kind of unexciting so I'm probably going to put up the next installment pretty soon (like now) as an apology for a boring chapter and a horrible cliffhanger or lack-there-of.
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AliceInWonderland
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Join date : 2010-07-01
Age : 25
Location : everywhere

PostSubject: Re: How Things Shouldn't Go   Sat Nov 06, 2010 8:56 am

Adam pulls up to a white, cottage-type house in a normal looking neighborhood. He drags me into the house and throws me down on the floor. I look up at him with my best pleading eyes.
"Please! I will do whatever you want! I won't tell anything to anyone! Please, let me live. I will have sex with you if that is what you want! Please!"
"Now we are getting somewhere. OK, strip."
I take off all of my clothes and stand there, unsure of what to do next.
"Good girl. Now, go lie down on the bed, and I'll be there in just a second."
I lie down on the bed waiting for him knowing that if I do try to run away I'm not going to get anywhere.
He walks in with a camera in his hand. He turns it on and sets it up on his dresser.
"Tell me your name. You never told me what it was in Hot Topic."
"My...my name is Alice."


*Yey! better cliffhanger! Also a quick note: the content of this story that will be coming after this could be listed as rated R if it were a movie! I am having conflict on this so please let me know if you think I should continue on the already written path or walk off the path? I have set up a poll at the top of the page for this purpose. Thanks! Very Happy


Last edited by AliceInWonderland on Sat Nov 06, 2010 9:07 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : forgot something)
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AliceInWonderland
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Posts : 42
Join date : 2010-07-01
Age : 25
Location : everywhere

PostSubject: Re: How Things Shouldn't Go   Wed Nov 10, 2010 3:38 pm

hey you guys please post comments and answer the poll at the top of the page so that know which way you guys would like me to continue. I will not continue until I get answers because I always like to keep my reader's intersts in mind! Thanks Very Happy
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